DOWN THE FOXHOLE...

brain stretch 2.12.16

a few words need to hit this wall. where am i today? los angeles california. i will do pilates at 12 and then tennis at 1:30. this is a sports day. these are the days i look forward to. a dy without sports is a dangerous lane for me. the brain goes for runs that the body can’t keep up with. but it will be fun to get a sweat in. i haven’t been sweating enough lately. also, after tennis i like to get a turkey sandwich. i’m drawing a blank on the name of the store. but they make a great sandwich. i usually tell them to make it the way they like it. pretend it’s for you and you’re hungry. i will eat just about anything so I like to be surprised. i wonder if that makes the building of the sandwich more fun for them? who knows. what else? the tv show rush hour will be on TV march 31, 2016. that is a thursday. 10 pm. it is right around the corner. i wonder if people will watch it?

how is my comedy? good question. they seem to be laughing again. i moved a chunk to the beginning of the set instead of the end and it seems to get people on the boat sooner. the comedy store has been so crowded and filled with such strong comedians that you have to bring your best shit every time. it seems like only recently you could really try some new stuff and just float along. no more floating. bring the heat or you will find that you’re not getting as many spots as you would like. it’s the nature of the business. get funnier.

how is my shoulder? good question. i like to think that it is slowly improving. i definitely strained it when i was doing pilates but with too heavy of weights. i need to remember to keep my core engaged. not so much about heavy weight. i’m learning. okay. i will try and keep you guys up to speed on all things kirk. oh, i hope you’re doing well. thanks for swinging by the wall. i must say, i still have no idea how many people actually stop by for these words. i used to think it was thousands until it was pointed out that most of those views were from robots. well, bots as they are called. okay, gotta run. i will post this. thanks again.

how is my tinnitus? good question. still in play. but i have to say when i type it seems to be drowned out. i have to remember to keep the brain active or the ringing gets quite loud. it is a battle but I have to learn to live with it because it is not going anywhere. peace out. kf

brain stretch 1.20.16

let us stretch out a few fingers. hope all is well with the eyes that occasionally peruse these internet walls. i can actually give real information today. rush hour will be on television march 31, 2016 at 10pm on CBS. that is believe is a thursday. i think if you look closely i might be visible occasionally. i haven’t actually seen the first episode so i might be mistaken. but either way, this is a show that should be watched. action. comedy. drama. heart. i don’t see a lot of shows on tv that have all of the above. and an occasional glimpse of kirk fox. i’m kirk fox. i always like saying that.

what else? this weekend I’m going out of my comfort zone. i will sit on a plane and land in a couple of different cities and then tell some jokes at night. i will be traveling with Kevin Nealon and Norm MacDonald. We are all tall. it’s the tall guy tour. not the title but it’s how i will think of it. i go on first and pave the way for them. i like opening for them. it seems to fit right into my attention span. i’d say 15 minutes is where I’m at brain wise. i better be able to do at least 45 minutes if I actually expect to go out into the world on my own. i have hours of material. i’m sure i could pull out an hour if my life depended on it.

jokes i’m working on. i think I’d like to start thinking about my pet cricket and a box of GI joes i discovered while looking for the said cricket. finding a box of GI Joes that had been missing for twenty years is like stumbling on some POWs that didn’t age. i tried to sell the GI joes. still trying. one of them was the action team commander. found out he was worth a lot until i managed to rip out his vocal chords. then i tried to track down a GI Joe mechanic. it’s pretty exciting. I will now get to work on the joke. that’s it. just wanted to say “hi.” oh, tomorrow I’m having something cut off the back of my hand. not sure what it is but it seems to be growing. might be an alien. i will let you know if whatever comes out of it has eyes. if so, I will take a picture. kf

brain stretch 1.14.16

have i not really clicked these keys in this new year? well I better say something. i could always mention that Rush Hour will be on thursday nights at 10pm on CBS starting march 31. that’s something. I’m going to play tennis shortly. not sure how my shoulder will fare. i really think there is a slight tear that i’m not letting heal correctly. i hit some balls yesterday but made sure my followthrough was low. seemed to put less stress on my shoulder.

i do want to mention that the other day i spent at least twenty to thirty minutes trying to catch a gentleman in a wheelchair who had one leg. I was in pursuit to give him a sandwich. i finally tracked him down but it made me aware of many things. if it’s this hard to catch someone who doesn’t know you’re trying to catch them I can’t even imagine the difficulties that come when they know they are being chased. traffic combined with his speed would make the glimpses even more frustrating. i finally found him and gave him the sandwich. he was grateful. i told him I’d been trying to catch him for a half hour. he said he had used the bathroom at the counter. i didn’t consider the fact that he could have ducked inside a building. i caught up to him in the parking lot where it had started. i was eating a meal when he passed me and mumbled something to me. i didn’t acknowledge him which is very out of character. a moment later i hated myself and decided to give him my sandwich. the hunt was on. after giving him the sandwich i went inside to make another. i decided to even give him some cash. i came out and i saw him sitting in a cadillac. it wasn’t new. but it wasn’t very old either. some front bumper damage. he said he lived in the car. i gave him four dollars for gas money. i liked him. he is still on my mind. i’ve wondered how much it is to buy someone a leg. i’ll probably just give him some gloves. he uses a sock currently for grip. i think a glove is in his future. or two. okay. words have hit paper. i’m not done with this gentleman yet. he is looking for work. not sure if he is a disabled vet but he certainly is a disabled human. is disabled even the right word? not a clue. let’s just say he is a man with one leg. not sure how it went missing. it doesn’t matter. i’d like to see him walking. he’d be easier to catch next time.

brain stretch 12.24.15

this is an important post for me. i will tell you why. because i learned recently that the traffic to my site may have been mostly robots. no one wants to hear that. not sure the robots are reading these words. not sure what they are even looking for. but then i realized the viewers can’t all be robots. even if I have just a few people swinging in I owe it to them, which is you, to continue to try and water this wall. i claim i’m not that concerned with numbers and monetary reward. if that’s the case, then it shouldn’t matter if i have a thousand viewers a day or a hundred. even ten is plenty. one could suffice. i write the words to stretch my fingers and brain. so i will continue to love this wall. hope you have a good day. as for you robots, i hope you find what you’re looking for. not sure what it is, but I’m pretty sure there’s nothing to see here for you. have a good day all. it’s the holidays. what does that mean? presents i think. i like the fact that there is less traffic in Los Angeles. everyone is on vacation and because of that I will stay here. 😉

brain stretch december 20, 2015

figured it was time to water the wall a bit. hope everyone is doing well? what’s going on in my brain. i’ll bring you up to speed. working on a few new jokes at the top of my set. i’ve always been a big believer of getting the audience on the boat before you take them into some creepy rooms. but the last couple days i’ve been throwing a few jabs out at the top of the set that have been landing. nothing feels better to a comedian than when a new joke hits. if it hits again you might be onto something. it’s a tricky beast this standup comedian thing. i have found that sometimes a new joke will hit hard the first time you say it and then the next few times it dies and you wonder why. the science of standup, and I always preface by saying, this is what works for me, is finding a way to deliver the jokes with the freedom you had when you thought of it. telling a joke for the first time sometimes is actually pressure less. you have nothing to lose. but once it becomes part of your set then it can turn your brain upside down when they don’t laugh. you suddenly question yourself. was it my delivery? is it them? lots of questions when it’s silent in a comedy club. i often say I like it when it’s quiet. but the truth is, nothing better than the laughs. you can say you like the quiet, but it’s bullshit, we are not telling jokes for the silence.

the jokes i’m working into the top are simple. i’m not against talking about them. they are world in progress. as we all are. i talk about a recent pee where i sneezed and never felt more alive. i may have slipped a disk as well but life is about tradeoffs. i talk about getting a girl’s phone number off of her dog’s tag. the power of the zoom. i discuss some new camouflage pants i’m having trouble finding. they are better than i thought. and then i try and find out if having sex with a blowup doll on an air mattress is considered a threesome. just a few solid jabs at the top. tonight i might even add one more. a recent meeting with a nanny might have a seed of laughter brewing. i don’t even have a baby. eventually she asked to see the baby and i said you’re looking at him. and i think he needs changing.

i will keep you posted on how this works out. of course it can all change. but this is what i’m trying to lock into my brain tonight. thanks for swinging by for a moment. this is my wall. this is my website. i’m kirk fox. i connected a few words and you took them in. this was a human interaction. I think we are both better for having it. for a few minutes in time we were being completely honest. this was an authentic exchange. and isn’t that all we can ask for. kf

brain stretch 12.18.15

we must water the gardens. a few words a day could help something blossom. yesterday was fun. while walking a dog i spotted a soccer ball rolling down a step hill. i stopped the roll and kicked it up the hill to the kids that were chasing the runaway. they would have never gotten to the ball before it made it to the bottom and then the next hill. they were quite happy. a few minutes later as i was wrapping up the walk the ball once again came into play. this time i wouldn’t have been able to stop it. but the ball rolled right into the dog’s butt. the dog saved the roll. i immediately went on periscope and told of the heroic encounters. this is what makes campfire stories. men and women sitting around discussing their exploits. we write books about such encounters. we open up websites and click a few keys reliving the previous days events. this is where we are today. i gave you these words and you gave me your time. this is life.

it is friday. we are in the middle of the holidays. soon this town will shut down. this is hollywood. movie making rests for a couple of weeks. writing will continue. writers write. but for the most part the cameras will rest. rush hour is a tv show i work on. i play a detective. we are in the middle of an episode. it will shut down for a couple weeks and resume next year. i will be back to work in january. until then, i will try and connect some thoughts. i will examine some tweets and connect a few that seem like a fit. comedy for me is a puzzle. some pieces look like they might fit but you quickly realize they belong somewhere else. this is what keeps my brain engaged. we all have our mental exercises that keep us moving forward. when you run out of exercises for the brain the rest of the body shuts down. keep active. like a cement truck. the cement must keep moving or it will harden. that’s why cement trucks keep spinning. i won’t look it up but i’m wondering what the name of the back of the cement truck is. where they keep the cement. i will look it up immediately. see, we are talking. we are in this together. have a great day my readers. i really like those of you who pop in and read. it’s fun to me. i do check these numbers. i’d say almost 200 people a day stop by here. maybe more. that is a manageable number for me. 😉

brain stretch 12/7/15

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just a man, a badge, and a gun. oh, and a mustache. this is what i look like on the new show, Rush Hour. i think it will be on TV in January on CBS. I’m sneaking into a few episodes. I always wanted to play a detective. I thought it would be nice to just be able to show up, slide on my holster and gun, clip on my badge, and fight crime. Something about the comfort of jeans that makes fighting crime more tolerable. a uniform takes the fun out of it. also pretty sure a police uniform is not all cotton. i wonder if i would get kicked out of the police academy if i told them I’m not doing this unless i can wear my own clothes.

SInce this wall is a place to stretch a few thoughts for the readers out there, here is one. I think this is funny. This is a thought.

guy just called offering me a new home security system. i said i didn’t need it and he said “really? look behind you!” I bought two.

this was my brain stretch of the day. now back to work. thanks for swinging in. i know who you are.

brain stretch 11/25/15

i’m often asked, “who are you?” who is anybody? I’m just a man trying to do the right stuff. what’s the right stuff? i’d say it’s trying not to hurt people or myself. i will be eating some turkey tomorrow. after i consume some bird i will drive to san diego for the weekend. currently excited about this adventure. it will be my first trip to san diego in my new car. there will be some stretches where i can let it run.

how is rush hour? it seems to be moving in the right direction. i world this morning. it was one of those perfect days. had an early call. 6:30 a.m. stopped for coffee along the way. also had a sausage, cheese and egg muffin. have to have that fuel. then drove the 7 minutes to warner bros. there was no drive on at the gate. had to make a couple calls. but this made me late. i don’t like being late. got my haircut and was immediately driven to the set. just realized that I can’t get into details of the scene because it will take the fun out of it if you know what to expect. i will tell you this, i had fun, there were laughs, now we wait. okay, this was a simple brain stretch. no one got hurt.

is there anything i can say to make your life better. do i have a thought which could nudge someone in the right direction. i will say this. this is what i’m working on. i want my jokes to stand on their own. i want to be able to simply let the words fall on the audiences ears. i want the jokes to be effortless. i want to remind myself to try and remember to tell a joke with the freedom i had when i thought of it. remind myself that I’m selling a porsche up there. don’t have to try to hard. a porsche has earned the respect it gets. it’s a fine automobile. if you don’t by this car there will be someone that will. rarely see a hard sell from a porsche salesman. they know what they are selling. okay,this was my post. short and sweet. my fingers were involved, as was my brain. stretch is complete. also, next week I will take all the change in myself and pour it in a machine and get some paper money. i wonder how much i have. i bet i have a hundred dollars in change. i look forward to this. why? because I’m not married, have no children, or a mortgage. that’s why it’s something i look forward to. we all have our lane. kf out.

brain stretch november 20, 2015

this is definitely a brain stretch. i found a few words that i clearly wrote to myself a few weeks ago. i will now insert them into this post and then quickly discuss. it’s funny to me. i was starting a book. i’ve started it before. it’s called “everything i know.”

1. finish something. Anything. I’m going to try and write a book. I’ve written one before but forgot to do anything with it. This is a book I will also finish. But I will do something with this book. I will either give it out for free or occasionally sell it after a show. Or maybe have a website where people can purchase the book. I’m not sure what I will do with the money. I think most of it will go to a charity. Someone definitely will need the money more than I do. So let’s begin. Even though we both know that I already have.
2. So this is number 2. I wonder how many thoughts it takes to fill a book. I feel 1000 thoughts should be enough. That was a thought. But it will still be a part of number 2. The key to this book will be emptying my brain. These are all brain stretches. I like to knock off the filter and let the words spill out. Spill is the right word. Right because it is up to the reader to clean them up how they feel. Clean them up with your brain. The sponge of life. Taking in everything and deciding what not to wring out.
3. My third thought of this book. It is 10/30/15. Today my car was assaulted. I’m currently waiting for the call from the building manager where it happened. There were cameras. The dent is the size of a quarter. Not sure how it happened. May never know. It was the first assault on this vehicle. It has inspired me to hit the keys. So maybe it’s what I needed. The car now has character. My mission it to fix the dent ASAP. This is definitely a thought. I love my new car. I miss my old car. I had my old car for 12 years. It was full of dents. It could take a punch. My new car is an audi s5. I love this car. I tell it when I get in. “I love you, Audi.” I feel I owe it to the car to fix the wound as soon as possible. Part of me knew it was coming. I parked in a spot that I felt was too close to the workers. But this leads me to the real purpose of my 3rd thought. Don’t cry over anything that can’t breathe. But I must say, this is pretty close. I will not cry. Maybe when I find out how much it costs to make this car flawless again. Until the next wound. It’s the price of doing business in America. And by doing business, I mean driving a car and parking in public. It’s inevitable. We all will get dinged up in life. It’s up to us to decide how we want to take the hit. Harrison Ford said a scar on his chin jumpstarted his career. Maybe my audi needed a little bit of humility in the form of a dent. Let’s move on.

4.

I just read the above words. I guess I now must update. eventually the manager of the parking lot quit taking my calls. that told me that she saw who bumped my car and felt it might be blamed on the building. i eventually got the little dent removed. i found a dent artist. he went in behind and tapped it out. you’d never know it was injured. there is a tiny scar lift. i’m in no hurry to get that fixed. once you start dealing with paint it opens the door for problems. the little scratch is hard to find. i know where it is though. as for price of the surgery. my pal that sold me the car took care of it. the dent guru was his friend. i did give the guy twenty bucks for a sandwich. i wonder what it would have cost? okay, that’s it for today. i wanted some words on the wall. this is healthy for me. i have reached out to the world. have a good day readers. thanks for stopping by. i hope you had a moment with these words that was beneficial. they came from love so there’s that. fox out. also, i just noticed that lonely 4. clearly everything i knew that day ended after 3. i guess today’s post is number 4. can’t wait to see what number 5. brings.

BRAIN STRETCH 11-16-15

I should read more. this i know. sometimes i feel i would read more if it wasn’t for all the periods. once i stop reading it’s hard to get the momentum back up to speed. i can handle a comma but it still feels like a little roadblock. sometimes i accidentally think of myself as a writer and then quickly shake the thought when i read something on paper by a real writer. i connect a few words together. that doesn’t make me a writer. i think about writing often. i think i would call myself a thinker. i think i should read more. i think i should write more. i think too much. i need to do a bit more writing and a lot less writing about not writing.

i will begin with this sentence.