DOWN THE FOXHOLE...

brain stretch 2-17-16

just a moment in time. hooking a few words together. i hear rain outside my window. the ground is thirsty. is this el nino? doubt it. it’s a gentle drizzle. el nino comes hard and aggressive and lets us know he’s here. this rain is a gentle tap on the door. el nino comes in through the window. what’s going on with Kirk Fox? let’s examine a couple things. first of all, word on the street is a few people actually swing in to be brought up to speed with the written word as opposed to listening. so this is for you.

tonight i will go to the improv and try and stay focused for five minutes. during those five minutes i will string jokes together. if all goes correctly then that set i do tonight will be done in the future while jimmy fallon watches. is his show called the tonight show. i really don’t know. is it called the tonight show with jimmy fallon? wow. the fact that i’m not sure what the show is i think might be a blessing. how do i feel? at this moment i feel good. i like the five minutes. i’ve done these five for awhile now. it would be a blast to actually retire them. if i do them on tv i really try and look at it as a farewell to that moment in time. i will keep you posted.

also today i had a little door ding taken out of my car. i have a friend who is an artist when it comes to taking out dents. this was small. maybe the size of a quarter but i didn’t like it. i think it happened at cedars sinai. door dings are certainly my pet peeve. it’s funny because my old car was all beat up and i looked at it as character builders. but this car is a bit of a prima donna. okay, that’s it. i fixed a door ding. i’m going to showcase tonight for i think the tonight show. also, i almost forgot, i will be in tempe arizona on march 4 and 5. some jokes at the improv. i haven’t been out in the world on my own in awhile. i booked my own flights and felt like i had delivered a baby. i was really too excited for something that should just be a simple part of life. nothing is simple for me. but i’m working on it. rock on readers. kirk fox over and out. and the rain sounds louder. i will let you know if it’s el nino. kf

brain stretch 2.12.16

a few words need to hit this wall. where am i today? los angeles california. i will do pilates at 12 and then tennis at 1:30. this is a sports day. these are the days i look forward to. a dy without sports is a dangerous lane for me. the brain goes for runs that the body can’t keep up with. but it will be fun to get a sweat in. i haven’t been sweating enough lately. also, after tennis i like to get a turkey sandwich. i’m drawing a blank on the name of the store. but they make a great sandwich. i usually tell them to make it the way they like it. pretend it’s for you and you’re hungry. i will eat just about anything so I like to be surprised. i wonder if that makes the building of the sandwich more fun for them? who knows. what else? the tv show rush hour will be on TV march 31, 2016. that is a thursday. 10 pm. it is right around the corner. i wonder if people will watch it?

how is my comedy? good question. they seem to be laughing again. i moved a chunk to the beginning of the set instead of the end and it seems to get people on the boat sooner. the comedy store has been so crowded and filled with such strong comedians that you have to bring your best shit every time. it seems like only recently you could really try some new stuff and just float along. no more floating. bring the heat or you will find that you’re not getting as many spots as you would like. it’s the nature of the business. get funnier.

how is my shoulder? good question. i like to think that it is slowly improving. i definitely strained it when i was doing pilates but with too heavy of weights. i need to remember to keep my core engaged. not so much about heavy weight. i’m learning. okay. i will try and keep you guys up to speed on all things kirk. oh, i hope you’re doing well. thanks for swinging by the wall. i must say, i still have no idea how many people actually stop by for these words. i used to think it was thousands until it was pointed out that most of those views were from robots. well, bots as they are called. okay, gotta run. i will post this. thanks again.

how is my tinnitus? good question. still in play. but i have to say when i type it seems to be drowned out. i have to remember to keep the brain active or the ringing gets quite loud. it is a battle but I have to learn to live with it because it is not going anywhere. peace out. kf

brain stretch 1.20.16

let us stretch out a few fingers. hope all is well with the eyes that occasionally peruse these internet walls. i can actually give real information today. rush hour will be on television march 31, 2016 at 10pm on CBS. that is believe is a thursday. i think if you look closely i might be visible occasionally. i haven’t actually seen the first episode so i might be mistaken. but either way, this is a show that should be watched. action. comedy. drama. heart. i don’t see a lot of shows on tv that have all of the above. and an occasional glimpse of kirk fox. i’m kirk fox. i always like saying that.

what else? this weekend I’m going out of my comfort zone. i will sit on a plane and land in a couple of different cities and then tell some jokes at night. i will be traveling with Kevin Nealon and Norm MacDonald. We are all tall. it’s the tall guy tour. not the title but it’s how i will think of it. i go on first and pave the way for them. i like opening for them. it seems to fit right into my attention span. i’d say 15 minutes is where I’m at brain wise. i better be able to do at least 45 minutes if I actually expect to go out into the world on my own. i have hours of material. i’m sure i could pull out an hour if my life depended on it.

jokes i’m working on. i think I’d like to start thinking about my pet cricket and a box of GI joes i discovered while looking for the said cricket. finding a box of GI Joes that had been missing for twenty years is like stumbling on some POWs that didn’t age. i tried to sell the GI joes. still trying. one of them was the action team commander. found out he was worth a lot until i managed to rip out his vocal chords. then i tried to track down a GI Joe mechanic. it’s pretty exciting. I will now get to work on the joke. that’s it. just wanted to say “hi.” oh, tomorrow I’m having something cut off the back of my hand. not sure what it is but it seems to be growing. might be an alien. i will let you know if whatever comes out of it has eyes. if so, I will take a picture. kf

brain stretch 1.14.16

have i not really clicked these keys in this new year? well I better say something. i could always mention that Rush Hour will be on thursday nights at 10pm on CBS starting march 31. that’s something. I’m going to play tennis shortly. not sure how my shoulder will fare. i really think there is a slight tear that i’m not letting heal correctly. i hit some balls yesterday but made sure my followthrough was low. seemed to put less stress on my shoulder.

i do want to mention that the other day i spent at least twenty to thirty minutes trying to catch a gentleman in a wheelchair who had one leg. I was in pursuit to give him a sandwich. i finally tracked him down but it made me aware of many things. if it’s this hard to catch someone who doesn’t know you’re trying to catch them I can’t even imagine the difficulties that come when they know they are being chased. traffic combined with his speed would make the glimpses even more frustrating. i finally found him and gave him the sandwich. he was grateful. i told him I’d been trying to catch him for a half hour. he said he had used the bathroom at the counter. i didn’t consider the fact that he could have ducked inside a building. i caught up to him in the parking lot where it had started. i was eating a meal when he passed me and mumbled something to me. i didn’t acknowledge him which is very out of character. a moment later i hated myself and decided to give him my sandwich. the hunt was on. after giving him the sandwich i went inside to make another. i decided to even give him some cash. i came out and i saw him sitting in a cadillac. it wasn’t new. but it wasn’t very old either. some front bumper damage. he said he lived in the car. i gave him four dollars for gas money. i liked him. he is still on my mind. i’ve wondered how much it is to buy someone a leg. i’ll probably just give him some gloves. he uses a sock currently for grip. i think a glove is in his future. or two. okay. words have hit paper. i’m not done with this gentleman yet. he is looking for work. not sure if he is a disabled vet but he certainly is a disabled human. is disabled even the right word? not a clue. let’s just say he is a man with one leg. not sure how it went missing. it doesn’t matter. i’d like to see him walking. he’d be easier to catch next time.

brain stretch 12.24.15

this is an important post for me. i will tell you why. because i learned recently that the traffic to my site may have been mostly robots. no one wants to hear that. not sure the robots are reading these words. not sure what they are even looking for. but then i realized the viewers can’t all be robots. even if I have just a few people swinging in I owe it to them, which is you, to continue to try and water this wall. i claim i’m not that concerned with numbers and monetary reward. if that’s the case, then it shouldn’t matter if i have a thousand viewers a day or a hundred. even ten is plenty. one could suffice. i write the words to stretch my fingers and brain. so i will continue to love this wall. hope you have a good day. as for you robots, i hope you find what you’re looking for. not sure what it is, but I’m pretty sure there’s nothing to see here for you. have a good day all. it’s the holidays. what does that mean? presents i think. i like the fact that there is less traffic in Los Angeles. everyone is on vacation and because of that I will stay here. 😉

brain stretch december 20, 2015

figured it was time to water the wall a bit. hope everyone is doing well? what’s going on in my brain. i’ll bring you up to speed. working on a few new jokes at the top of my set. i’ve always been a big believer of getting the audience on the boat before you take them into some creepy rooms. but the last couple days i’ve been throwing a few jabs out at the top of the set that have been landing. nothing feels better to a comedian than when a new joke hits. if it hits again you might be onto something. it’s a tricky beast this standup comedian thing. i have found that sometimes a new joke will hit hard the first time you say it and then the next few times it dies and you wonder why. the science of standup, and I always preface by saying, this is what works for me, is finding a way to deliver the jokes with the freedom you had when you thought of it. telling a joke for the first time sometimes is actually pressure less. you have nothing to lose. but once it becomes part of your set then it can turn your brain upside down when they don’t laugh. you suddenly question yourself. was it my delivery? is it them? lots of questions when it’s silent in a comedy club. i often say I like it when it’s quiet. but the truth is, nothing better than the laughs. you can say you like the quiet, but it’s bullshit, we are not telling jokes for the silence.

the jokes i’m working into the top are simple. i’m not against talking about them. they are world in progress. as we all are. i talk about a recent pee where i sneezed and never felt more alive. i may have slipped a disk as well but life is about tradeoffs. i talk about getting a girl’s phone number off of her dog’s tag. the power of the zoom. i discuss some new camouflage pants i’m having trouble finding. they are better than i thought. and then i try and find out if having sex with a blowup doll on an air mattress is considered a threesome. just a few solid jabs at the top. tonight i might even add one more. a recent meeting with a nanny might have a seed of laughter brewing. i don’t even have a baby. eventually she asked to see the baby and i said you’re looking at him. and i think he needs changing.

i will keep you posted on how this works out. of course it can all change. but this is what i’m trying to lock into my brain tonight. thanks for swinging by for a moment. this is my wall. this is my website. i’m kirk fox. i connected a few words and you took them in. this was a human interaction. I think we are both better for having it. for a few minutes in time we were being completely honest. this was an authentic exchange. and isn’t that all we can ask for. kf

brain stretch 12.18.15

we must water the gardens. a few words a day could help something blossom. yesterday was fun. while walking a dog i spotted a soccer ball rolling down a step hill. i stopped the roll and kicked it up the hill to the kids that were chasing the runaway. they would have never gotten to the ball before it made it to the bottom and then the next hill. they were quite happy. a few minutes later as i was wrapping up the walk the ball once again came into play. this time i wouldn’t have been able to stop it. but the ball rolled right into the dog’s butt. the dog saved the roll. i immediately went on periscope and told of the heroic encounters. this is what makes campfire stories. men and women sitting around discussing their exploits. we write books about such encounters. we open up websites and click a few keys reliving the previous days events. this is where we are today. i gave you these words and you gave me your time. this is life.

it is friday. we are in the middle of the holidays. soon this town will shut down. this is hollywood. movie making rests for a couple of weeks. writing will continue. writers write. but for the most part the cameras will rest. rush hour is a tv show i work on. i play a detective. we are in the middle of an episode. it will shut down for a couple weeks and resume next year. i will be back to work in january. until then, i will try and connect some thoughts. i will examine some tweets and connect a few that seem like a fit. comedy for me is a puzzle. some pieces look like they might fit but you quickly realize they belong somewhere else. this is what keeps my brain engaged. we all have our mental exercises that keep us moving forward. when you run out of exercises for the brain the rest of the body shuts down. keep active. like a cement truck. the cement must keep moving or it will harden. that’s why cement trucks keep spinning. i won’t look it up but i’m wondering what the name of the back of the cement truck is. where they keep the cement. i will look it up immediately. see, we are talking. we are in this together. have a great day my readers. i really like those of you who pop in and read. it’s fun to me. i do check these numbers. i’d say almost 200 people a day stop by here. maybe more. that is a manageable number for me. 😉

brain stretch 12.16.15

life. throwing a few words against this wall. there are still some readers out there in the world. where am i currently? los angeles california. the holidays are rolling into the world. i have never really spent much time worrying about holidays. to me they are all the same. i seem to remember they had more weight when i was a child. we celebrated xmas. one of the memories that sticks in my head is seeing my dad cut down a high limb from a tree in the front years that seemed like it could almost play the part of a tree. i got up early and unwrapped some presents. i do remember it was a surprise for my dad when i opened a gift from him. he had no idea what it was going to be either. i realize that i have become my dad. nothing wrong with that.

also today a podcast with my pal owen benjamin has been posted to the world. we are pals. i’ve known him for almost ten years. he thinks ten but I’m pretty sure we met in aspen in 2007. he thinks 2006. close enough. the podcast was fun. could it have been deeper? certainly. did it need to be? nope. it is what it was. two friends finding some common ground to laugh about. i liked the operation. we recorded it upstairs at the improv. it was fun for me to go to the improv without having to do comedy. having to tell jokes requires a different mindset. there was another podcast recording downstairs. that one looked like it was being filmed. the pom was packed. i liked it upstairs. there were four of us. owen and I, and two other guys who were important. one made sure it was recording and the other made sure we had a cold beer.

i’ve often thought about doing a podcast but have failed to make the next move. i like periscope. that is my podcast. i like that it lasts 24 hours. that seems to fit my brain. alright, i put a few words against this wall. i hope everyone is doing well. my mission now, continue to scan old tweets and see if they can be connected into some topics that can be connected into a joke. joke might not be the word. tale. how about if i connect a few tweets into a tale? that’s it for now. keep rocking readers. and listen to the podcast with owen benjamin. it’s everywhere. i know i’m supposed to have a link to it. wait. i tweeted it. i will post the tweet. now i’m really doing some social media.

i tried and failed. but it can be found. 😉

brain stretch 12/7/15

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just a man, a badge, and a gun. oh, and a mustache. this is what i look like on the new show, Rush Hour. i think it will be on TV in January on CBS. I’m sneaking into a few episodes. I always wanted to play a detective. I thought it would be nice to just be able to show up, slide on my holster and gun, clip on my badge, and fight crime. Something about the comfort of jeans that makes fighting crime more tolerable. a uniform takes the fun out of it. also pretty sure a police uniform is not all cotton. i wonder if i would get kicked out of the police academy if i told them I’m not doing this unless i can wear my own clothes.

SInce this wall is a place to stretch a few thoughts for the readers out there, here is one. I think this is funny. This is a thought.

guy just called offering me a new home security system. i said i didn’t need it and he said “really? look behind you!” I bought two.

this was my brain stretch of the day. now back to work. thanks for swinging in. i know who you are.

brain stretch 11.29.15

i sit in san diego. this is the city i was born in. so they say. tonight i will take the stage in los angeles at the comedy store. 9:30. at some point today i will sit in my car, get some gas, and head north on the 405, then onto the 5, then the 101 and then take my exit. i’d like to think this can be done in under two hours. but now i stretch my fingers and my brain. i reach out to you. if you are reading this we are communicating. i spent the weekend telling jokes at the comedy store in La Jolla. i took the stage four times. i feel pretty good about three of the shows. the first show last night there were a few drifts. for me, I must stay focused. stay in my lane. occasionally i can become hypersensitive to the room. i’m getting better but there is a curtain at the comedy store that has become my kryptonite. i like it closed. if it is open i can see the people in the lobby and wonder why they are not in the room listening to me. i’m getting better with this curtain. i’ve learned to focus on other areas of the room. everyone who works there thinks I’m crazy because i tell them to keep it shut. i’m cool with it opening to let people in and out, i just want it closed once they leave or enter. am i crazy? maybe a little. we all have our little kinks. mine i guess is curtains. but four shows, one drift, i think i’m fine. how long was the drift? maybe ten seconds. 😉 but enough to make me aware of everything. i got back on track and no one knew there had been a problem.

the joke at the top was even slid into one of the sets. it is a seed. it’s pretty hard for a tweet to stand on it’s own and get the laugh it may have received on twitter. the tweet got a lot of love. on stage a tweet must be slid into a thought. each tweet is different. sometimes it’s a setup, sometimes it’s a punch. i have found that whatever the tweet, it has more success for me if it’s hooked with a few more to form a little story. my brain likes to connect things. but i’m excited about the camouflage angle. when it didn’t get the huge laugh, i began to expound on the thought and the laughs began to pour in. so in this case, it was connected onto the “i’m an idiot” angle. losing camouflage pants is clearly funny. the fact that they were better than i thought is funnier. and then adding where i may have lost them starts to turn it into a joke. maybe i need to discuss how i have too many plants in my apartment and green carpet. i will keep you all posted. okay, this was a moment in time. an honest moment i shared with the world. this is all we can do. try and connect. pour out a few thoughts and possible educate, maybe get a laugh, or maybe help someone kill a few moments. which reminds me of a good tweet, that i should work into the set, “killing can’t even begin to describe what i do to time.” kf